Sunday, August 30, 2009

Sunday Times

I spent last night with my new neighbors. A & B. They have been super friendly, and nice and I really do like them a lot. I can talk to them forever. They have three beautiful little girls, and have moved recently from Texas. The only thing that gets me is they keep tossing in little racist bits that I'm not sure are really racist, or if it's just "Texas talk".....

So here's the deal. They moved from Texas to Montana because it was getting "too crowded" where they were living and they wanted something better for their girls. OK...I sit and think about it, and it sounds wrong. But then I realize I did the exact same thing five years ago, and I'm not the least bit racist. It wasn't a question of race for me, but simple crowdedness and wanting more open space, so does that make me racist???

They are both teachers with masters degrees. They talk of their jobs in Texas and how much they love teaching and how hard it is to have to be a teachers aid here because they missed the deadlines for applying. They both speak Spanish. They talk of the lovely "tamale moms" at their old school. Hispanic mom's who made tamales for sale for all the teachers at the school, and they got to buy wonderful homemade tamales, and the "Tamale Mom" made much needed extra money. A win-win situation in the best of ways.

This woman helped me so much when I was sick I can't even begin to describe it. She brought me a care package to the hospital, she watched my kids, she let out step-dog while I couldn't. She is just plain nice. Her husband, I actually like him. I get no "creepy" vibe from him at all, simple friendliness. They are strict parents, but do a lot of the discipline by a token system and their kids are very well behaved, not brats, and very nice kids.

But, she invited me to "church" with them last night. I politely told her I wasn't "into" church. She took it well and dropped it. Not bible thumper's I can tell, I think she just does it for the community actually...which would be good, if I could stand that community.

I think I'm trying to make my peace with finding support where I can, and not being as judgmental as I know I can be. I want to party, I want to have a party, but I know no one here that I want to have a party I'm going to just hang out.

I also found a pooch on "" about a month ago, I keep going back to see if she is gone, but she's not. She is a grown American bulldog. It says she is completely housebroke, gentle, great with kids and other dogs, is a cuddle bug, and wants a forever home. Is that why I keep going back and looking at her? She has such a happy friendly face. I have researched dogs, and the American bulldog is one I've come up with as a possible match for our family...I emailed the shelter about her today. She is in a town about 70 miles from here, but this week I actually have time to go look at her...I wonder.....I just know there is something about her sweet happy face that makes me smile.

Here is a short blurb from the shelter.
"Cool as a cucumber Cali is what we call this extraordinary dog. She is laid-back and goes with the flow. Cali has an openness with her heart and trust. She holds no prejudice towards people, even though she has been through a lot in her life. Cali is very house-broke, she loves kids and all adults and she likes to hang-out with other dogs. Cali is an absolute loving dog, she loves to snuggle and be with her person. She is looking for a place to call her forever home. Cali wants to be the best dog you have ever had. I swear to you, I know she will be."

I took a new photo of myself on my webcam yesterday. It struck me that I actually look happy...I haven't looked happy for a long time. I don't want to put my photo on my profile because I don't want people stumbling on it, but I am going to put it here just this once, because it will eventually get buried in my blog....

I woke up with a migraine this morning. I got up, took some Tylenol and tried like heck to get it to go away. It wouldn't. I finally realized my head was making me get up, so I did, went down and made my first pot of coffee in nearly three weeks and had some, and it was yummy. I think the meds were making everything taste terrible...the only thing I've been able to stand to drink for weeks is juice and water. I haven't even been able to do soda much. Today the coffee tasted good.

So I'm going to clean today. I know it will be an enjoyable thing for me. I'm going to hang my last picture that is sitting in the box it was mailed to me in a month ago, and I'm going to hang all my clocks....then I'm going to cook myself a nice dinner, steak, backed tater with sour cream and chives, and watermelon for desert, and then...I'm going to watch "The Hunger", which a new friend recommended to me as one of her favorite moves. I bought it on Amazon and I'm going to watch it tonight.



Margo said...

That's a great pic. You really do look happy.

If I had a vote I would say you should get the dog. Cali - even has a sweet name.
Dogs that love people make life better. And it sounds like she's calling your name.

Neighbor advice: Go slow. We learned the hard way. Just go slow.

Mon said...

Thanks Margo,

I hear you on the slow going with the neighbor, I intend too. It's hard for me to process new friends, and I'm sure there is much I will never tell them, that being said, it's so nice to have some friends that are parents themselves and they get the "kid" thing, and are used to the total chaos of little kids. No matter how much someone without kids thinks they get it, they just don't. I wish I had more parent friend support here in Montana, but I really don't. I've sort of been trying to make my peace with "religious/redneck" vs. no support at all. They don't need to know "all" of me for me to be friends with them. I reserve the real me for my real friends....but my real friends don't always get the "mom" part of me...I'm probably rambling.

And I emailed my property manger about the dog today. I already have a pet deposit on this place, because of the kitty I took back to the shelter, I think it will be cool, but I wanted to make sure.

Thanks for commenting on my blog!

MakingSpace said...

OMG you look RADIANT!!!!!!!! I seriously wouldn't recognize you as you from the difference between your profile pic and this one.

It sounds like you have made some friends who are there for you right now, and that's lovely. It doesn't have to be a forever deep friendship. You'll find peeps to party with.

Get the dog! Get the dog! C'mon, a cuddlebug looking for a forever family? Get the dog!!!!

R said...

YEAHHHH!!! You look happy!! Love the pics!! Thanks for sharing and posting! I love reading all about your new adventures!! :)

C said...

it is funny how sometimes people do not look like you thought they would when you finally see them! i always pictured you to have dark hair! bwahahahahaha
hon, i think you are doing your best in your new home, and things, friends, and people more like yourself will all fall into place. when i was just coming out i looked up womens groups in my area, meaning lesbian support groups, and there were several. i went and made new friendships which led to meeting people much like myself. i also had regular neighbors etc that knew me as the mom and i think it is perfectly ok to have bounderies with people and deciding whom you let in. you have to keep your world safe for you and the kiddies. and you dont need the prejudiced opinions of ANYONE slaggin you down.
be strong SISTAH... you shall overcome!
sounds like you'll be gettin a puppy soon..... ;) cali, thats a nice name. and she has such a beautiful face. what a nice surprise it would be for the kiddies...

take care and i'm glad you feel better.


maxine said...

Being from TX now myself (11 years) I can verify that as TX-speak, but yes, it's a subtle racism, too. As already advised, go slow, and I would recommend keeping the lesbian info to yourself until you are sure.

Great pic!

Mon said...

Yeah, I have no intention of letting that little nugget out to them. I just don't see why 1. It's any of their business. 2. I'm not actually having a relationship, and probably never will, so it doesn't matter anyway. I live in the boondocks, I definitely intend to watch my step here.