Thursday, September 3, 2009

The List Keeper

I did a huge thing today, at least huge for me.

I called "The List Keeper". The woman here in town who is the keeper of the list in regards to all things lesbian. I've known who she was for months, my therapist has told me to get in touch with her. I've been too scared. Today I sucked it up and called her. Guess what she said when I told her I was just "coming out"? She said, "CONGRATULATIONS"!!!!!!

I'm not sure I've ever been as happy hearing those words. She was so so nice to me, told me about different events and said she would be putting me on the email list for upcoming events, etc...

She said if I was uncomfortable going alone, she would find someone to go with me..

Huge I tell you, is this the first step in forming a community for myself???

I'm excited...

On the health front, I'm still feeling very very tired, I didn't realize just how tired until I tried to do some small activities this week. I went didn't even have the kids and it wiped me out. But my leg is so much better, the pain is nearly gone though it's still a funky looking dark purple color on my calf.

I'm still having a hard time eating. Nothing but veggies and fruit sound good. Coffee is not good and I'm a coffeehead.... Meat is not sitting with me at all. I'm going to turn into an edamame bean before long, it's a good thing they are full of protein. I've also been craving avocados and grapefruit juice...weirdness...

So I'm just going with it, and figuring my body is telling me what it needs right now. It's rejecting the foods it doesn't need, and asking for the ones it does.

My babies told me tonight they wanted to come home, it about broke my heart. I miss them so. It's getting bad, and it's one reason I'm going away this weekend so I can take my mind off of them. Their dad hasn't been super wonderful about calling me until late which I'm not digging, I'd really like to talk to them twice a day, but I'm holding off at one.

My emotions have been getting the better of me this week, probably because I have nothing to focus on except my self.

I've also been watching Dexter at a rapid rate....I'm sucked in, and I'm only on Season 1, show 4.



MakingSpace said...

Yeah!!!! When I started going to the lesbian get-togethers in my area it really filled my life in a way nothing else does. It's a beautiful experience. Have fun!

Anonymous said...

Yay!!! good for you!! :-D

Camlin said...

I need a list keeper!

C said...

yep... good choice. you WILL make new friends and whoooooooo knows?

keep us posted, please.

may you finally feel where you belong.


Anonymous said...

interesting... you should check out my blog sometime too.
droppingfigleaves @ wordpress

Anonymous said...

'the list keeper' -- glad to know they exist in montana, too.