Monday, July 27, 2009

So sleepy tonight. I realized how much work being a pretty much single parent is going to be. When Hubby brought the kids home tonight, and bolted out the door, I became a bit jealous of the fact that he is going to get so much more alone time than I will, and this has always been an issue. That being said, I don't want it the other way around. I did remind him tonight that Wednesday night's are his nights with the kids.

It's just that I am a softy. I'm sitting here listening to the wailing of my son, yelling "mommy....mommy..." Because I still haven't gotten his room all the way set up, and he is in my bed. He thinks I need to go to bed with him. I am even tired, but I don't want to cave in and go up there while he is wailing. I know it's a phase, I know it needs to stop, and I will have his room done this weekend (I hope), but it's hard, because he is the clingy one of the two kids anyway. He's clingy and emotional. He pulls at my strings....and it's all I can do not to give in ALL the time. I also realize he is having to go through a terrible change for a young child, but I do think he is doing OK....

The kids did enjoy their time with their dad, but I know they were glad to get home with me last night, and they were only gone one night. What am I going to do when it's two nights?

It's cool tonight, and I'm hearing the song of my wind chime out my door. How I love this sound. It reminds me of being a little girl, listening to the twinkling sounds of the glass wind
chimes my mother had hanging all over our porch in the desert.

M

5 comments:

em for mighty said...

i had to make a break for it the other night. i keep forgetting to make sure im okay as i stress out about everyone being okay.

wind chimes are so soothing....

Camlin said...

When it's two nights:

Go for a long walk and listen to the wind. Write wonderful words. Wish on stars and daydream. Meet a friend for coffee, and if there's no one around, find a place to have coffee by yourself. Think about your kids and wish them well.Often I find when I get a two night stretch, that I'm so busy cleaning the bathroom and doing laundry that I hardly have time to miss her.

Three nights, now, that's different....

C said...

i LIKE the M that you are calling yourself, like mine is C. hahaha yet we are SOOOOO much more than initials.... wooooohooooooo
when my kids were still little on those rare occaisions when they returned from some time with their dad, they always fell apart... i think its their way of handling the change, and the divorce and the emotions that go through their lil souls of having 2 places with one parent. he may say its about his room but i'll bet he doesnt know how to transform from one environment to another, even though he had fun. it helped mine when i made a routine they could count on when they returned... like order pizza, or have a movie night with a fave snack... something that fits your family but something they can count on to look forward to. it helps take their mind off the transitioning. its hard picking up the pieces like this but the rewards will be great when they get older. these will end up being the best of times for you, when they are little. take care of yourself too, so there is more of you to be there for them. and for yourself. hubcap may have more free time but you have the kiddlets. his loss.

c

C said...

oh and P.S. try to plan something special for yourself when they leave.... like dinner and a movie with a friend, or something to pamper yourself... a pedicure? swimming? whatever your lil heart desires. because it's your time. i used to go sit in borders and read and browse books for hours...

c

Dragon said...

I know how you feel. My son does the same thing (knows what to say to pull on the emotional strings) and he is more sensitive too. But I agree with you. I would trade free evenings to make sure I have my son with me any day any time.