I don't even know where to begin anymore.
I'm getting a new tattoo on Saturday. I've made an appointment to talk to the tattoo artist this week, to go over the design, and leave a deposit, and have loose plans for Saturday AM. I'm going to do a goddess on the back of my neck. The womb will be a heart, and it will all be outlined in black, with half moons on either side of her body. She will have large hips and breasts....it will be filled in with teal. I was thinking very small, but I've decided I'm going to go a bit larger after all. I want to make a statement, so I'm not going to make a small one.
I really am feeling lately like I don't give a shit anymore who knows and who doesn't. Though I'm not necessarily telling the world, I'm not NOT telling either..if that makes sense.
I'm moving from the cocoon finally. As many of you know, it's been a long long road for me to get here. This journey started for me over three years ago now, and though I've shut it down, my old blog, is a testement to that journey.
I'm now about to embark on my first "real" relationship with a woman, and it just feels so stinking good. She's going with me to get my tattoo, which I am happy about as I'm a bit of a chicken and need some hand holding for sure.
What can I say about this person right now? I'm not sure. It hasn't gotten physical yet...but I'm nearly 100 percent that will change this weekend. We've talked of it at great length...and we both want it. After our first date in Missoula, we've talked nearly every night, late into the night. Pretty much no subject has been left untouched, and it feels so strange to think that already she knows me better than Hubcap does/did.
I know when he see's the tattoo, he's going to lose it. Not sure how long it will be until he see's it, but I know my kids are really bad at not talking, so I imagine he's going to figure it out. He still seems to feel he has some sort of claim to me, and I know he will understand when I get this tattoo...that it's broken. He always hated the idea of me getting a tattoo...hate is a pretty mild term to express his feelings about me getting a tattoo...so we will see. He's been questioning the goddess necklace I've been wearing lately as well... But I'm just going to let it go as it goes...I'm not willing to not do what I want any longer at this point in my life.
I have plans in the works for another tattoo down the road, on my belly over my womb.
I have plans for all sorts of things now.
I had a wonderful holiday with the kids....and really am having moments of true joy as of late...joy in both the little and big things in my life.
Thanks for hanging in here with me through my non writing blogging phase as of late...