Anyway, the room was so so, but the pool in this hotel is bath water warm. It's a great pool for the kids. The hot tub sits in full view of the pool so the adult (me) can sit in the hot tub, and watch them (kidlets) swim. A good friend of mine and her boys who are the same age as my kids, met us there, and we let the kids swim and swim, then ordered pizza, then swam some more. It was such a good night. This morning, the kids and I got up and swam again, then just put our sweats on, grabbed the two small tote bags I brought and came home.
I think I might just be a proponent of a "mini vacation" at home, but not at home. It was so freaking easy. I didn't have to pack really, I did bring a bag of snacks from home which the four kids managed to scarf in no time, but we had loads of fun...for very little money really.
Then when the kids called Hubcap last night, he got me on the phone and said "What the H*LL are you doing there?" In this nastay controlling voice. I said, "I got a great deal on the room and the kids and I are swimming, what's it to you?" He said "It didn't matter". Obviously it did, but oh well. I was talking to "her" (GF) last night about this, and one thing that occurred to me is that maybe he just doesn't realize how he sounds...because that tone automatically puts me on the defensive and makes me angry nearly instantly. I'm not sure it's his intent, but it does. I kept thinking last night, maybe he just doesn't realize that he sounds like a n asshat when he says stuff like that.
It's funny, I got a text from my friend (the one with the two boys) last night after she left, and she texted me, "too bad he didn't know the way to your heart was through your kids"...we had a long talk last night, and our "husbands" are so much alike, I think it scares her to see how mine is acting because I think, and so does she for that matter, she'll be going through this same thing eventually.
I still have to wonder why he cares what I do with the kids, and why he cares what I do in general. It's like he is still trying to control me and each time he tries and it doesn't work pushes him further into his hate of me. He is one of the most unhappy angry people I know now. He didn't used to be, but he is now. His energy is clearly toxic, and it sets me up on edge nearly instantly.
Anyway, I had a good talk with both my friend and my "girlfriend"...god it's weird to say that, bu t it's true....:) I had a great time with my kids...I love love it when we have days...no weekends...like this.
Over and out from Montana!
Mon
2 comments:
You are exactly right, IMO. He is still trying to control you and gets angry when it doesn't work. He is likely still reeling from the divorce in general and is very unhappy that YOU left him, instead of vice-versa. He is likely feeling very out of control at this time in his life and is very uncomfortable with that feeling, as we all are. His reaction to feeling out of control is to get angry. Hopefully someday the 2 of you can get to a place where you can be civil, if not friendly. Until then, don't sweat it. Do your kids right and maybe he'll learn something by your example.
Thanks EM..you are always the voice of reason....I sure hope you are right though!
Post a Comment